Charlie's Number One

Look who is one. Who me?

Yes you, my blue-eyed, toe-headed, beautiful boy.
Oh Charlie, I can't begin to express how much I love you and how much you mean to our family. You are just the calm that we needed.
Quick to smile and laugh, patient, tender hearted, full of curiosity, and always jabbering up a storm. You have your dad's looks and temperament and your eyes crinkle just like his when you laugh. You love your brother and follow him worshipfully, trying to keep up, even when he isn't the most gracious of playmates.
A good sleeper, eater, traveler, shopper, and cuddler.
Cautious, content, and in no hurry to walk. Starting to say a few words but why bother when your smile gets you whatever you want.

I sure love you handsome boy. All 30 inches, 23 pounds of you.

A For Effort

Sometimes, ok a lot of times, I hope that at least trying counts in the mothering department. An 'A' for effort kind of philosophy.
Case in point: I thought I would attempt to bring a little of the true Christmas spirit into our home and introduce Jackson to the participants of the nativity scene. With the aide of Fisher Price we named them all; Shepards, wise men, animals, Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus. He lined them all up (of course) and twice through he had them down. At this point I am feeling pretty good, one of those good mom moments. That was until baby Jesus ended up teetering on the roof and then was flung, without regard for the sacred nature of this scene, off the table.
"Yikes!" and full belly laughing ensued. Admittedly, from both of us.
Lest you think he was intentionally blasphemous, all the characters had their turn on the roof and were flung unceremoniously to the ground.
I tried.

A Walk in Our Shoes

Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
Asleep early for Christmas?
...an unlikely path

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When visions of Christmas
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift?
The right color and style?
Would there be a blank stare
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Friends & family come
But they don't understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from bending his hands.

"Just make him stop it," some say
"Just tell him "no",
You must learn to be tough..
"On, and on they do go...

We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The debate is moot
Let them all take a side

We know what it's like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions….

But what some don't know
And what some don't see
Is the joy that we fee
lOver simplicity.

He said "hello"!
He ate something green!
He looked me in my eyes
He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty!
Who cares if he's ten;
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!"

Some others don't realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope

But what they don't see
Is the joy we can't hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With envy, with wonder,
Or even distaste,

What we want them to know
What's important to see
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.

We don't get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings

Children with autism
Try so hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.

They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don't get it
Or can't get a clue
Take a walk in our shoes
And I'll assure you…

That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You'll look at us all
With respect, even shock.

You will realize
What it is we go through
And the next time you see us
I can assure you

That you won't say a thing
You'll be quiet and learn,
Like the years I learned too
When the tables were turned.

C. Waeltermann, 2007

The Knot

on the tie of my wrap-around dress was digging into my back as a drove to work so I undid it at the next light.

Gathered my bag, newsletters, calender, brochures and headed for the door. Without warning I was flung back toward my car and landed on the parking lot. Two elderly ladies "rushed" to my side.
"Oh dearie, are you okay? Your papers are all over. Oh no, you got a run in your hose."

What happened? Who hooked the bungee to my waist when I wasn't looking?

I look back to accuse the culprit and see the tie of my dress stuck in the car door. Oops.

Special

Some Days
I am tired of special schools,
special teachers,
special curriculum,
special schedules,
special vans.

Most Days
I am so grateful for special schools,
special teachers,
special curriculum,
special schedules,
special vans.

The first week of all day preschool has had its ups and downs.