Baby Charlie

As you already know Charlie joined our family on the 19th, right on schedule. I was scheduled to be started that morning and my water broke the night before, so I got the best of both worlds. I was all packed and ready to go but got to go on my own, bonus. We got to the hospital just after midnight and he made his grand debut by 4:15. What a champ.

He has been a dream. Eats, sleeps, and hardly ever cries. I was fully prepared for, and willing to endure, a hellish few weeks but was very pleasantly surprised that not all babies are like Jackson was. A true Christmas miracle.

At first I thought he and Jackson could be twins but he is developing his own little persona more and more as the days pass. What I little cutie.

Jackson seems to be adjusting well, I guess. Is simply ignoring his existence considered adjusting well? Either way it works for me. They have the rest of their lives to get to know each other.

He has had a busy first week with all the Christmas festivities and but I have felt great and he is a trooper so we made the rounds.

Charlie with Santa at three days old.

He's Here

Charlie William Drake

Born: December 19th 4:17 am

7 lbs. 2 oz.

21 in

Nevers

Before I had kids and especially while I was pregnant with Jackson, I thought I was going to be a great parent. Admittedly, I was often critical of tantrum throwing two years olds in the store, or shoeless, cape-wearing, menaces running a muck in public. I thought, I will NEVER let my child (fill in the blank). As a parent I will NEVER (fill in the blank). Why doesn't that mom just (fill in the blank)? It seemed so easy. If only they (parents of unruly children) could see as clearly as I.

Well, if you are like me these presumptuous assertions went out the window on about day 2 of parenting. It boils down to survival, both for you and your children. Avoid major injuries--to your children and others. Try not to break things. Get some sleep whenever you can and the rest....come what may.
What caused this ranting you may ask. Well, I was struck with a poor parenting/white trash moment as we were finishing some Christmas shopping this weekend. Case in point....

Yes, that is an entire bag of Funyons that my child is eating as we perused to aisles. Not only did I let him polish off the bag but we has specifically stopped at the local Maverick on the way to the store with these delicacies in mind. Ya, pretty white trash but worth the public ridicule and a blissfully uneventful day of shopping. I am officially the mother I NEVER was going to be. I have learned that choosing your battles is way more important than public appearances, right moms?

PS Only two more days!

PPS mmmmmmm Funyons.

Ready When He Is

Alright folks, the final countdown has begun. Only 11 more rings on the proverbial paper chain. Yep, we will be welcoming our newest addition next week! In preparation I went over my to do list before he gets here.

Christmas presents bought and wrapped........check.

Baby room set up and ready.......check.

Move Jackson out of the baby room.............working on it.


Big as a house....................check, check.

I am careful not to turn too quickly these days in case young children are near by. Don't want the little tykes to be broadsided by the wide radius of clearance that I require.

In all honesty I am so excited, nervous but mostly excited. Two seems a little overwhelming but I am sure we will be fine. Maybe Jackson was sensing my trepidation and decided to help me out. He has been so good and fun lately. Seriously, he has made me even more excited to have another one to play and laugh with.

Welcome to Holland

This past week has been a struggle with Jackson. The pinnacle coming on Thanksgiving day. I will spare you all the boring details but let's just say that Thanksgiving was spent driving around to divert meltdowns and eating reheated leftovers at the counter. I have a feeling holidays/any social gatherings may be a struggle for years to come. I had a little meltdown of my own this week and complained to Mark that I could accept Jackson's struggles but that didn't mean I had to enjoy it everyday. I know, I think the pregnancy hormones are contributing to my lack of coping skills these days.

On Sunday a friend, much more in tune than I, gave me the sweetest story. She said that she had been holding on to it for awhile and just felt like she needed to give it to me that day. I touched me so much that I thought I would share.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Really?!

Last weekend Mark and I went to a Jazz game and in all honesty, despite my best efforts, I was a little grouchy. I had worked all day, foot-fat was spilling out of my shoes, my back hurt, I had a headache, and I felt as big as a Buick, but I went. I was determined to enjoy the game, sat down, and then the Jazz made their first basket..... much to my astonishment, the woman next to me had fastened a full size cow bell to a lanyard around her neck and rang it incessantly with every point or good play. The Jazz dancers and time-out entertainment were also privileged to her fanfare. I tried to discreetly plug my ear and turn away from her but really, a cow bell 12 inches from your head is not going easily into the night no matter what I did.
Finally at half-time after I traded Mark places to at least put some distance between us and wouldn't you know......she feel asleep! Yes, during the game, fell asleep! All tuckered out from the ringing. She would awake occasionally when the cheering got really loud, ring the bell, and then back to sleep. Really?!
As proof, here is a picture I discretely took with Mark's phone.

Oh Ya, He is 2

I am not sure if the "terrible twos" is a real developmental stage or just some erroneous term that parents made up to make themselves feel not so inadequate while rearing toddlers. Either theory you subscribe to, we are there. Jackson is acting terrible and I feel very inadequate.

We decided to make the big change to a regular bed before the baby comes (Only 4 and a half weeks left!) and oh wow, not pretty.

Not enough time spent here....

Led to sleeping here...

We did the usual routine of putting him back in bed about 20 times at bedtime and although that is not my idea of fun that was not the worst of it. He also got up 3 to 4 times a night. Not mad, just awake and kicking his door. We tried the side rail, then double side rail, taped his light switch off, and put away all books and toys. (Waking up to Thomas' whistle at 3 in morning is not pleasant.) But to no avail. He also was up for the day around six. Well, you can imagine the shear grouchiness that possessed his soul the rest of the day from utter exhaustion. We gave it a valiant effort for about three weeks and then threw in the towel and he is back in the crib in the baby's room. Now we can focus on the tantrums, how fun.

Any suggestions? Feel free to tell me that I am just being wussy and to gird up my loins and take it like the many generations of tired mothers before me. Maybe I am just rationalizing but it is hard to know what to attribute to autism, just being 2, or just plain tiredness. Not that it even matters but charting unknown waters makes one wonder.

On an unrelated note: During my brief stint of unemployment I got bored and painted anything that would hold still. I refinished a dresser for Jackson's 'big boy' room. I should have taken a picture of the 70's finish with golden eagle handles to get the full effect.

Halloween WT Style

This year we hosted a Halloween party but wanted to spice it up a little so a theme was added to encourage creativity: Come as your interpretation of white trash. Well, the attendees did not disappoint.
Here is the happy couple: Barefoot, pregnant, logo laden pajama pants, stained Earnheart t-shirt, and bangs for miles. Mark had rubber bands placed strategically all the way down his waist length pony.

Not sure why I suddenly went bull-legged to blow out candles. Must have been trying to stay in character.

Party Part 2

As mentioned before we had a separate party with Mark's family this month for the October birthdays. If you are a regular follower of this blog you may have wondered if Mark has a family. The answer is an astounding yes. In fact, he has a plethora of family, in fact you have probably run into them around town and not even realized it. He has seven siblings so it is bound to happen. It is my fault for not giving them equal time and exposure on the blog. Anyway, I digress.
Here is the Ninja in all his glory. I think his Chi was a little off this day because the grouchiness was overwhelming the inner harmony.
All the cousins dressed up and got to pick a pumpkin to carve from Grandma and Grandpa's pumpkin patch. The kids quickly lost interest and the adults took over.


And here is the homemade, yes homemade, cake made by Celeste. She was almost lost to the blazing inferno. And yes that is 8 month guttage overwhelming the left side of the photo.

Tag

Angie tagged me and I am supposed to post the 4th picture in the 4th folder on my computer. Well, here it is...

I think this was taken about 5 years ago by my cousin Bobbi. She was taking a family pictures and we thought we would go for some candid shots. I think that was the idea anyway. Ya, it is so likely that someone snuck up on us all hanging out at the bus station each lost deep in thought. Anyway, it was fun to browse through old pictures if nothing else.

Jamie, Bobbi, Kelli, and Veronica give it a try.

A Boy Thing?

Any idea what to do about this...

This new found atrocity, yes atrocity, is driving me crazy. He can't keep his hands out of there. I have tried to be stern, ignoring him, and even hitting (softly) his hand. The other day I looked over to find him 'taking the plunge' and said, "Jackson, no!" He looked at me, took his hand out, hit his own hand, and said, "no no". He then looked at me like: "Mom, I don't know how that happened and I have absolutely no control over my appendages but don't worry I took care of it. Shouldn't happen again" Well, it has happened again, repeatedly. Any suggestions? Is my boy doomed to grow up a dirty old man? I am seriously considering reinstating onsies. Is snap crotch clothing frowned upon once kids are over 30 lbs?

The Party

I thought I would do a quick post and share some highlights from Jackson's birthday party. This is only part 1 because we split up the families this year. Part 2 is on Saturday with the Drake side.
The party was Thomas the Train themed, of course. Before I had kids I thought that character parties were nerdy and my kids, (the cool kids) would opt for sports themed parties or something equally as masculine. Then you quickly realize that if it makes them happy you are on board.

The cake

The birthday Boy

His favorite present, Thomas pajamas. He hugged them when he pulled them out of the sack. Can you tell he is the oldest grandchild and spoiled rotten? Look at the paparazzi in the background.

Happy Birthday Jackson

Today is big number 2 for little Jackson man. Unfortunately his 2 year doctor visit fell smack dab on his special day so he had to have shots.

Report Card

Height: 35 in. 55%
Weight: 29.2 lbs. 61%
Head: 52.2 cm >95% (Still ginormous)

Then
Jackson was born two years ago today at about 6:30 pm and 12 hours of labor. He was four days overdue and Mark and I could not have been more excited to welcome our little boy. He weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz., had a ton of dark hair, a cone head, and swollen face. I thought he was the cutest thing I had even seen.

Now

Jackson continues to be a such a joy in our family. He really makes me laugh everyday.

• He loves Thomas the Train and brings me the remote and signs train over and over.


• Loves books, especially about animals, trains, and cars.


• Loves to brush his teeth and constantly carrying around a tooth brush.


• Loves the watch himself in the mirror. He dances and signs gibberish with the biggest smile on his face.


• Loves to play outside, go down the slide, jump on the trampoline, run in circles, We have high hopes for track stardom. Run as fast as you can in a giant circle, right up his alley.


• Is generally a happy kid and never bothers other kids or is mean.


• Loves to be chased and has the most contagious laugh when you chase him.


• Is still signing and now making up his own signs. This is a challenge. We thought the sign he made up for 'open it' was 'cut your head off' for awhile.


• Is making progress in speech and interacting a lot more.


• Is not a home body and often brings me his shoes and says, "Go." We do a lot a perusing just to get out of the house.


• Good sleeper, eater, and can be easily bribed with candy and goldfish crackers.


• Is a 'daddy's boy' and Mark could not be happier.

Happy Birthday Bubbas.

Family Pics

Last week my family went up to Snowbasin to get a new family picture. My brother's girlfriend was nice enough to be our impromptu photographer and I am in no way demeaning her skills but we came back with some pretty funny ones.

I still laugh every time I look at these. 1. Contrary to what it may look like my brother is not 10 feet tall nor was that weed spontaneously exploding around him. 2. I think I was trying to get my footing but it turned into a full spread eagle stance. Mark said that I look 'aggressive'. 3. It was not noisy but Jackson had his fingers in his ears for a majority of the shots as if to say, "If you won't let me down I will still ruin most of the pictures."

Despite Jackson's best efforts and after a couple of rotations and wardrobe changes we managed to get a couple of good ones.

See he can be cute, you just have to catch him unaware.

Catch Up

Ok I know I have been neglecting the blog but we have been between computers, converting from a desk top to laptop in preparation for the new addition. Also, still between jobs and adamently holding out for a management position (advice from cousin Eddie).

Well, here is the catch all for what Jackson has been doing/what has been done to him lately. The other day I was in the shower and Jackson came in and started signing finished and train repeatedly. Translation: You are finished with your shower and get out and turn on Thomas the Train for me. I explained that mama's hygiene is a little more important than Thomas and continued with my shower. Well, apparently he got impatient and I felt something behind me. Yep, he got in fully clothed. Can't beat 'em, join 'em. He got out before I could get my camera and get back but you can see the effects. Luckily he was still in his pajamas.

Staying in the bathroom realm.....I never know what I will find in the bathroom sink these days. Everything but the bathroom si....wait that doesn't work. For some reason Jackson deposits a whole array of goods here, still can't figure out why.

We were at my sister Lindsey's house the other night and Jackson tried to eat a half loaf of bread in one bite and gagged and threw up all over his shirt, unfortunately not an infrequent occurrence. I didn't have an extra shirt so Linds loaned him her daughter's jacket and being the ever fashion conscience aunt added the nice pink flower. Poor kid.

The other night Jackson was playing the back yard with the neighbor girls when I peaked out to check on them and was alarmed to see blood all over Jackson's face. I raced out, quizzing the girls as I went. Neither of them knew that anything was wrong. I was busy inspecting for open wounds and planning my route to the emergency room for the gash that was sure to be found. There was blood all over his face, hands, clothes, and legs, this was serious. "Oh he ate some of those big grapes and then put them down the slide and went down" said by the now frightened neighbor girl. Panic over, just a little over indulgence in the plum tree. Sorry no picture.

A night out on the town, O-town, for the Harvest Moon festivities.

Legacy

Here is the scenerio: I called Mark Monday afternoon at five and said that I was just leaving Salt Lake so probably would not be home until at least six with traffic. Well, what a pleasant surprise when I cruised in the driveway at 5:35. That's right, over thrity miles in about a half hour during rush hour. To what do I owe this modern day miracle? None other than the opening of the Legacy Highway. So sorry Mr. Anderson and your beloved wetlands but I sure enjoyed the thinning of traffic. Too bad this is my last week driving to and from Salt Lake for work.
Speaking of, I was layed off at my job and am in the market for a part time social work postion if anyone has any tips.

On a Lighter Note

First of all, thank you so much to all of our friends and family for expressing their concern and support. It is so nice to know that we are so loved and that so many are willing to help. It is true that it was an emotional weekend but life goes on. I am sure that I will have many emotional days along the way but really nothing in our day to day life is any different. Go to park, eat chicken nuggets, and fill the bathroom sink with crayons, just another regular, wonderful, day. Jackson is still the same happy kid that he has always been.
In an attempt to deter the somber mood of my blog here is some news on a lighter note. Even amongst all the emotional commotion this weekend Mark couldn't have been happier because it was the opening weekend of football and his beloved Seahawks were on primetime. Last Spring Mark bought Jackson a Seattle Seahawks jersey with his name on it. Nice thought but I think Mark expected our son to be a 6'5", 250 pound, line backer by his second birthday. No such luck.

The News

I debated on whether or not to even post about this because it is so personal but I know that many who read this blog would be interested and it will save me from having the conversation repeatedly. I also want a record of my feelings, so here it goes. Yesterday Jackson was diagnosed with Autism. Mark and I had suspected that this was the case and took him to in to be tested. When making the diagnosis they place kids on a spectrum ranging from mild to severe. Much to our relief Jackson placed on the mild end.
Despite feeling ready to hear the news it has been a very emotional couple of days. I worry and am sad about the trials that lay ahead of him. I think one of the hardest things about being a parent is watching your children struggle or have challenges that you can neither prevent nor protect them from. Sometimes I look at my happy little boy and get teary just thinking of him going to school, being so frustrated, or having to conform to a world that may not be so understanding of his challenges. At first I selfishly cried about the loss of normalcy and the dreams of mine that probably would not see fruition. But I had to realize that those were my dreams, not his, and I could not ask for a happier, more pure hearted, loving, boy.
As Jackson has grown here are some of the things that as his mother I have wanted for him:

• I want to teach him right from wrong and enable him to make good choices.
• I want him to be a good friend and to have good friends in return.
• I want him to enjoy learning and discover his own talents and abilities.
• I want him to feel confident in who he is and know that he is loved.
• I want him to have respect for others.
• I want him to feel safe and know that his home is always a refuge from the world.

After the diagnosis I realize that none of these things have changed. Maybe how we reach these goals will change and our definition of success may not be that of the rest of the world but the goals remain the same.

Our immediate plans for him are to get him started in speech therapy that is especially geared toward autistic children and learn as much as we can as his parents in order to help him succeed. He will probably attend preschool for autistic children when he is three and then go from there. Our long term goals are for him to attend regular school and be comfortable in social situations.

We are very hopeful that Jackson will be able to live a very 'normal' life and pray for guidance as his parents to be able to help him the best we can.

I am still trying to learn so much about this condition but you can click here for more information.

Olympic Dreams

This morning Jackson tried out his first gymnastics class. My friend Rachael and her daughter were trying it and graciously invited us to join them. Well, after faithfully watching the Olympics how could I not at least give Jackson the opportunity to possibly join the ranks of American heroes like Bart Connor and Paul Hamm. Well, lets just say that he may have to find heroism and fame in another realm. Don't get me wrong he had the time of his life but did not achieve a single gymnastics skill he was asked to do. If running as fast as you can (with your pregnant mom chasing you) around the gym and jumping into foam pits was an event, sign him up!

So today was our first and last, at least for awhile, gymnastics class. Carry on without us Rach and Ellie.

This morning I debated on dressing Jackson in a sleeveless onesie and stirruped stretch pants but luckily went with the sweats and t-shirt. What a cute boy.

Back to School

Although I don't miss being in school, I do miss getting ready to go back to school. The new outfits, new shoes, and my favorite, back to school supplies. We would wait anxiously for the ShopKo ad to come out announcing that the bins in front of the store were full and come on in. The whole gang would pile in the minivan and leave with sackfuls of 20 cent paper, 10 cent folders, dividers, 99 cent packs of pens and pencils. If my mom was feeling especially generous we each got our own pack of highlighters but usually we had to share. Two per child, one pack was plenty for five kids. Trapper Keepers were also a rare but much coveted luxury.

Nothing was more exciting than arranging each binder and stuffing our pencil pouches to the brim. Even after I graduated from college I continued this autumnal tradition for Mark which he politely accepted and then rearranged everything once he got to school. Apparently engineers are too good for pencil pouches.

Now that no one in my immediate household is in school the sphere of back to school giving has extended. My mom is an elementary school teacher and 'gets' to go back to school every year. Lucky girl. Well, in honor of her valiant pilgrimage back to the ghetto of Ogden to teach those eager young minds my sisters and I give her a few new outfits to send her back in style. Here she is posing in her new duds. What a hottie, huh! I tried to get her to sport her 'school bag' with the ensemble to get the full effect but she wasn't going for it.

Construction

My blog has been experiencing some technical difficulties so I have called in professional help. Bigger and better coming soon.

The Valley

For the first 15 years of my life in lived in Huntsville or as the locals call it 'the valley'. I can see now that referring to it as THE valley is a little pretentious considering most people have no idea where Huntsville is and you then have to go start naming landmarks like Snowbasin and Pineview as reference points. Anyway, my grandparents still live there and the family held on to my great-grandmother's home even after she passed away and it has become a family gathering place. The home is right across the street from the park I spent many recesses in and adjacent to my elementary school so the whole ambiance is very nostalgic and I love going back there. It has a huge shaded yard, little white wooden house, and the quintessential covered front porch complete with vinal covered rockers. The perfect down home setting.
Last Sunday we headed up for dinner with my dad and the fam.

You can kind of see the house and park in the background of the boys lounging in miss matched patio furniture.
Mark and Jackson went four-wheeling on the road. That is perfectly acceptable in these parts.
Just some fun in the yard amidst the shaded woodland.

Summer Fun

I'm not sure whether it was the nudge from Jackson's child developmentalist to initiate more socialization and structured play or the realization that summer's end is drawing nigh, that prompted me into action. Either way the recreational activities had been kicked into high gear.

I thought it was only appropriate to start with the token splash park pictures. Jackson was going to feel very left out when in years to come as he peruses through his blog journals with his friends and he is the only one without a summer of 08 splash park montage. So here he goes.

Apparently it got a little too loud at one point.

I was under the impression that it was a "get wet only if YOU want" kind of park. Apparently the 9 year old old punk with the water cannon had other ideas. Thanks for the pic Lee Lee.

Next we hit the slopes of Rohmer Park for some old fashioned ice blocking. Jackson loved it. He would laugh hysterically the whole way down and then run back up the hill for more.

This particular hill was especially inverted. (No matter what I do I can't get this picture to go the right way. Jodi always looked better on her left side anyway.)

And last, some quality time at the park. Lot's of time at the park. This is Jackson's favorite pastime.